The Importance of Dad

The image of a father is historically that of the bread winner - the man who goes out to work whilst mum stays home and nurtures the children. The image of a father today - in my opinion - is fast becoming that of a farce and it offends me. I'm sick and tired of scrolling through my facebook page and seeing an entire assortment of posts making vast generalizations about dads and their incompatibility with parenthood.  Such posts can appear as the comical photo assortment of useless dads making mistakes (hahaha - how hilarious that man is leaking into the domestic sphere har har har!) or the more sinister posts of anger and irritation towards men and their inability to parent "correctly".

Now, I'm not talking about the odd post among friends of real life mistakes, these things happen to both mums and dads and it can be hilarious - I'm talking about the made up generalization and assumption that mums are better for their children than their dads on the merit of gender. I'm talking about the ridiculous belief /joke that females naturally take to parenting more easily than fathers. It's not true. Such silly jokes and assumptions only give lazy men an excuse to be lazy fathers and make the fathers who really try, feel less confident in their own capabilities compared to the capabilities of the mother.

It's really not funny and it's really not okay. It's damaging to an entire society. Sometimes it seems I'm from a whole generation of youngsters who feel disappointed with their fathers and that disappointment runs so deeply that in our adulthood we still discuss it because it still hurts. This assumption of dads being less predominant/less nurturing in a child's life NEEDS to be challenged, it NEEDS to be changed. It is not only damaging to our men being brought up and taught to parent in this way but it is damaging to the children feeling neglected and let down by their fathers.

Besides, if dads really are incapable compared to mothers that's only because of how they have been conditioned. Men have been taught not to show emotions, that mum nurtures and they build. An example in today's world is the sure start centres for toddlers... It can be really uncomfortable for dads to go in there because it's all mums. There's actually a special event at our sure start to encourage dads to go making the blatantly obvious statement that dad's don't really go... it's not the done thing. In addition to this, the painful limitation to paternity leave just insists that it's the woman's job to rear the child.

It's ridiculous and my partner (praise the lord) understands 100% that he has to do his share of the parenting and (praise the lord) he wants to. Based on gender, I really can't stress enough that bar the obvious of breast feeding, we are equally capable as parents. Stay at home dads DO exist, they're just rarely ever heard over all the noise telling them to be go and cut down a tree or something.

Such issues of sexism may seem irrelevant to some in this day and age, but they are relevant to me. I never want my child to feel disappointed by the presence and care of their father, I never want my children to laugh at how their dad takes care of things and I don't want my children to grow up to be lazy dads relying on the parenting of their spouses. I want my children to be proud of their dad, to learn from him and become a parent their children can be proud of.

Dads are really important - and if some children are not lucky enough to have a stable and loving father around (cause lets face it, some dads really do suck [and mums]), they at least need social media to encourage them that such fathers do exist and can exist for their own children. It sure beats us all mocking an entire gender based on the actions of a few.

My baby and her daddy